Tales of Misadventure with Nicole Donnelly

Tony Martinetti on Crafting Connections and Fostering Creativity

• Nicole Donnelly / Tony Martignelli • Season 2

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Have you ever felt like an artist facing a blank canvas, unsure of the masterpiece within you? Tony Martinetti, a luminary in the realm of leadership and personal growth, joins us to illuminate the path to uncovering your life's work. Together, we share tales of our first meeting and the electric conversations that sparked a deep dive into the art of maintaining tradition while embracing innovation in our professional lives. Tony lets us in on his personal "why," sparking a connection with my own quest for authenticity and the courage needed to chase after our true purpose.

This episode is a vibrant tapestry of wisdom for those of us seeking to add color to the monochrome routine of daily life. We tackle the challenge of finding passion, avoiding burnout, and the importance of focusing our energies without becoming overwhelmed. Tony and I discuss the delicate dance of setting boundaries and earning respect in the workplace. We also explore the delicate balance of preserving valuable traditions in an ever-evolving landscape of artificial intelligence and rapid change.

Wrapping up, we delve into Tony's "Campfires of Connection" workshop and his upcoming book, showcasing the power of storytelling in forging organizational bonds and personal relationships. You'll learn the importance of physical presence and the sensory connections it enables. We share heartfelt stories of overcoming workplace conflicts and the emotional release that comes with learning from our missteps. If you're ready to embrace your authenticity and turn life's hurdles into stepping stones, join Tony Martinetti and me for a conversation that promises transformation and connection.

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Introduction:

Hey there, thanks for joining us for Tales of Misadventure, a podcast all about business blunders. On this podcast, nicole Donnelly, founder of DMG Digital, talks to entrepreneurs and learns how they turn their lemons into lemonade. Dmg Digital is a content marketing agency focused on helping manufacturers attract new buyers through digital self-serve. Nicole Donnelly is a fourth generation entrepreneur, a girl, mom and an avid traveler. Now let's head into a tale of misadventure with your host, nicole Donnelly.

Nicole Donnelly:

Hello and welcome to Tales of Misadventure, where we talk to entrepreneurs and have them share their business blunders and how they turn lemons into lemonade. Today I am so excited to be joined by Tony Martinetti. Tony is the founder and chief inspiration officer for inspired purpose partners. Tony is doing extraordinary work as a business coach and leader. He's a TEDx talk speaker and has written several books, and we're really excited today to talk to Tony about his latest book that he's written, which really dives into the stories of our past and how our past experiences, how we can integrate them into our current present state and use those past experiences to help us make those important, pivotal changes in our lives. So I'm really excited to have Tony talk about that and share some of his experiences. So, tony, welcome to the show today. How are you?

Tony Martignelli:

I'm doing great and thank you so much for having me on the show. I feel like this is a perfect place to be to talk about our past and our stories and our tales of misadventure, which I love is so cool, and I love that we've gotten to know each other over the years and just you do such great work, so thank you.

Nicole Donnelly:

Yeah, thank you. I remember I'll never forget the first time that we met. It was actually on a live event, and I believe it was on St Patrick's Day. I can actually remember what I was wearing. I was wearing this bright green shirt and we were celebrating St Patrick's Day, and I think we might have played a little van Morris then to intro this show, and I will.

Nicole Donnelly:

I gotta say that was one of the most just, thoughtful and poignant conversations that I've ever had on a live show, and I was just so inspired by you and just what a thoughtful leader that you are. And, in particular, there was one part of the show that I just love where you talked about change and tradition, and so I'm excited to talk to you about that a little bit. That's one thing that I'm very passionate about is helping people navigate through digital transformation, e-commerce, etc. And it is so, so challenging to get organizations, it's challenging for us to change as individuals, let alone trying to get whole teams and organizations to embrace change in those really meaningful ways. So, and I just I'll never forget how, what a wonderful conversation we had, so I can't wait to dive into that today, so cool.

Tony Martignelli:

Absolutely. And of course we had a nice, a lovely partner in crime, Kurt Anderson, who is just, he's just full of so much energy and positivity.

Nicole Donnelly:

So, yeah, Just a breath of fresh air and just always bringing out the best in people.

Nicole Donnelly:

So well, let's go ahead and get started. So you know, as I was preparing for the show and thinking about you know, questions and everything, I just think that one of the things I really love about you, tony, is that you live your life with such intentionality and such purpose, and you really encourage other leaders to do the same to really understand who they are, what drives them, and to make sure that they're living authentically to that, and so I wanted to just ask you like what is it that is your why, what is your purpose?

Nicole Donnelly:

What is it like if you were to come? Up with a statement of like why you do what you do and what you see as your life's purpose. What would you say?

Tony Martignelli:

Yeah, I love this question because it gives me an opportunity to share part of me which I don't often get to share.

Tony Martignelli:

You know, people don't know that I was an artist as a child and oftentimes I think of myself as an artist now. It's an identity that I want to own more fully, even though I'm only dabbling these days. But when I think about my why, my purpose is really to help others to find the masterpiece inside of them and to find, to create the space for them to reveal it. And you know, I feel like that's something that I've done for myself and in continuing to do so. But I want that for other people because I feel like so many of us are hiding some brilliance inside of us. It just is dying to get out, but it's hidden by a lot of these things that get in the way, limiting beliefs or societal elements of you. Know. This is what you should be doing and this is how you should be showing up, and so for me, it's about listening and really seeing through all of the stuff on top. That is basically covering up that masterpiece.

Nicole Donnelly:

That's so beautiful. You, your purpose, is to help other people find the masterpiece within that that is such a beautiful like. That gave me the goosebumps that's I just. That's so inspiring to me. It's certainly a journey that I'm on, I think. So what are some things like just thinking about that? How did you you mentioned looking inside what are some things that you had to do on your journey to identify that masterpiece within you? Like, how did you get in touch with your inner self and really have the discernment which requires a lot of discernment, I think and courage to be able to first recognize and then to make the change right? How did you come to that point?

Tony Martignelli:

I think that the cycle of discernment and courage, it's not like a once you know, one starts and the other ends. It's like you constantly have to go through that. You know you, you have the courage to take the first step and then you have to be able to say, hey, like, what does this mean? How do I really dig deep into this and figure out what the meaning of all these things are? And then come back to taking a courageous step and experimenting with what you learn, and then, you know, go deeper again.

Tony Martignelli:

And I think that is really been the journey for me is is this sense of like finally deciding enough is enough. I have to live a life that fulfills me and not just a life of just getting by and and just, you know, just living, I guess, but not really, you know, having a life of purpose. And so when I started to open my eyes a little wider and see that there's more to life than what I was having, I decided to ask more questions of myself and others and through that process, a whole new world started to open up. And that's one of the things that people reflect back on me when I, when I, started to coach them and work with them. They said to me like you know, every time I leave a conversation with you, I feel expansive and I'm like okay, whatever that means. Well, yeah, I mean, now I understand it better. It's I help them to see new possibilities in themselves, because I get them to see that they're stuck in a pattern.

Nicole Donnelly:

I love that. What are the signs that you noticed in yourself and maybe signs you see in other peoples that they're stuck in that pattern?

Tony Martignelli:

Yeah, well, now that we're on this art theme, I mean there's a sense of like drae grabness I can't even say can't talk today. Not a good thing. But when you start to see the color in your life not really there, you start to feel like you're just going through the motions and you don't feel a sense of of like you know, inspiration or or kind of something you're looking forward to in your life. Then you start to realize there's something going on here that I'm missing.

Tony Martignelli:

And often do this with my clients where I say like, oh, when you look at the week ahead and there's something, if you don't have anything in your calendar you're looking forward to, then you're starting to get into a pattern of stuckness. You should have something on your calendar, even if it's the worst week that you have ahead of you. You should try to have something planned and take action to plan something that gets you excited, that you look forward to, because that starts to put you in the right path for you. Yeah, and you want to bring some color back in your life and often say you know lighting, what lights you up? You have to find out what lights you up and bring more of that in.

Nicole Donnelly:

Yeah, oh, that's so beautiful. So I will tell you, like what you're saying really resonates with me. I have been over the last several months kind of really grappling with some of those same questions about where do I want to take my business? What's, what, is it that I'm really best at right Within my business? And as your business grows and things change or as it shifts, you find yourself in like kind of like these pivotal moments where you're like, okay, what's my new role in this business, or what do I want my role to be, and it can feel a little scary and then it kind of caught, as you know, as a business founder, like it causes me to reflect, like, is this what I want to be doing in the business? Is this the kind of business that I want to be in? So I've been on that same journey where, like I've some, I've full transparency and authenticity. I've looked at some of my weeks and I'm like, am I, and is that how I'm spending the time, the way that's really filling my soul, you know?

Nicole Donnelly:

and yeah so one of some one of the things that I've challenged myself to do and I love how you mentioned art and how you're an artist is to specifically make time, like one day a week for curiosity. Like every Friday I go out and I figure I find something locally, whether it's going on a hike, that a place I've never been, or going to an art museum just to experience art or something. Something that like fuels that curiosity inside of me, because that's how I'm wired, like I like to see and experience new things. People are wired differently. That might be different for someone else, but for me that curiosity really like fuels me and kind of lights me up, and so I've noticed that as I've been doing that it kind of like helps me to get more in touch with what are the things I really love. What do you think about that? What are your thoughts on that?

Tony Martignelli:

So many thoughts, so many thoughts. I love that you shared that, because there's a few things that come to mind. Number one I think you know we get into these businesses that we have a lot of passion for, especially, you know, entrepreneurs and I'm not saying that doesn't apply to people who are in inside of organizations. The reality is we have so much passion for them and then we think that you know, we have to continue to doing the same thing rinse, wash, repeat, rinse, wash, repeat because this is the passion, right, but the from time to time we have to stop and say, well, wait a minute, like check in with yourself and say you know what is, what is the next chapter of me going to be? Because we evolve as well, right.

Tony Martignelli:

And so sometimes you have to take a mini sabbatical and say to yourself hmm, you know, let's check on ourselves and see what's next. What's the next chapter going to involve? Do I need to make a pivot, make a change? And sometimes you've got to really be careful not to like throw everything away, because it could be that you are on the right path, you're doing the right things. You just got to make a slight tweak or just continue, or it could be that you want to take a completely different shift because you've realized gosh, this is really burning me out and I'm not doing it the right way that I want to do so.

Tony Martignelli:

I think it's important and this comes back to a tool I often use with my clients, which is expand your vision, narrow your focus, which is really a powerful way to think about how you know, oftentimes, if I'm being really narrow focus right now narrowly, you know, looking I might be looking at a problem just in front of me as just this is the only path forward. We have to get expansive and see what else is available to me, but don't stay out there, because if you stay out there, what's going to happen is you're going to get overwhelmed and feel like, well, I should be doing all this, I should be doing that, I should be doing this, but instead it's identifying potential opportunities that you want to experiment with and say I want to narrow my focus now on experimenting with this potential option and give that a go. So I know I went on a tirade there, but I hope that was helpful.

Nicole Donnelly:

I love that idea too, of like expansion but not at being overwhelming by just focusing on one part of it at a time rather than feeling like you've got to do all of it, and I remember that I I subscribed to your newsletter and you have such great content, and one of the books that you recommended several months ago was your brain on art, and I'm actually reading that book right now. It's beautiful and it talks about, like the, the power of how art can transform and heal us just appreciating our and creating art. So I wanted to talk a little bit like transition, a little bit to that like you're an artist, what kind of artist are you and how have you noticed art transform you? And is that something like you kind of like bake into your coaching with your clients? Like, what do you think about that?

Tony Martignelli:

yes and yes on in many levels. I mean, and I see, art is not just being just this strict like painting and drawing, which I historically was a painter and drawer, but now I've actually taken into elements of glass blowing and I've done some work with iron, you know, metal work, which is really fantastic. But I don't have to be perfect at any of this stuff. I just like to play and I think that's the key that I really play, I lean into, I can own the mantle of being an artist without having to be, you know, gallery ready and selling my pieces to, to the world. Instead, it's more for my own sense of like, enjoyment and my own insight, and I take a lot of lessons from those things and I infuse them into my writing, which is also an art, and so using that as a way to connect.

Tony Martignelli:

When you get ideas from other arenas, like being an art artist, you get to use them as a way to connect the dots to another place, like business or in conversations with people who are not really they're more analytical. How do you get them to think differently is by using other mediums, other fields, to allow them to see a new possibility. So so, yeah, that's, that's one part of it, and then I also would say that the other thing that is really important is to is to constantly be thinking about your conversations. That you're having is how can you create conversations that are not just surface level but they're deeper, they're actually pieces of art in a way that, like you know, you're creating through conversation. So that's one other part of this which is important is, we all have conversations that we feel like we could go deeper, we could see a bigger part of this if you're willing to go there that is incredible.

Nicole Donnelly:

I never thought of like a conversation as a form of art, never like that is like completely like opening up my whole mind about like the beauty and power and art that is in conversation, because you're absolutely right, like I think, about some of the conversations I've had and and the new ideas like this, for example, that have come from those conversations that I would have never come to on my own. So that's that's really powerful and really, I think, inspiring to think about like conversation as an art form yeah, I mean when you think about coaching conversations.

Tony Martignelli:

There there's often a saying that it's co-created. All right, we co-create through. Through coaching, it's not one person bringing something to the table and then, and then that becomes like the, the thing that the other person has to own. Instead, it's about two people having a conversation and catalyzing each other into action. But it's a co-creation process so that, in essence, says that it's a piece of art, it's an uh and it's didn't exist before and it's a new thing that we've created together, which is really cool.

Nicole Donnelly:

This, right now, is a piece of art and you're right, there's nothing else like this conversation out there that could ever. Oh man, tony, that is so stinking awesome. That is so cool. You know what it makes me want to do? Have more conversations. You know, I think, don't you find the art of conversation? It's become a little lost. With technology it's so much easier for us to just text someone or you know, and you do lose so much of the richness of relationships. I think that can be had.

Tony Martignelli:

That's so cool yeah, and also leaning into the fact that it doesn't have to be perfect. You continue to experiment and play and and see what else you can discover by having conversations.

Nicole Donnelly:

So if an artist wanted to be perfect out of the gates, then they would never start let's talk about that a little bit, because I have to tell you I've a very strong inner critic and I think a lot of people do so. There are times when I do try and I'm like I try to journal every day and a lot of the times when I sit down and I put pen to paper. I'll be honest, that little critic is in there and it's telling me like it needs to be good if it's not, and what is good to find us right. But like, there's this critic in me that's like the judge or that's like puts a little bit of pressure on you. But the truth is like who decides what's good or not?

Nicole Donnelly:

You know, and what does it matter whether it's so good, but you know, cognitively I couldn't understand that. But what do you do to encourage people to kind of break down that barrier that I think is really common for people, truthfully, people who are very type A, who want it to be perfect, who are very driven and frankly struggle with releasing that pressure and just being. Are there some specific tools or mental things that you recommend people can do to kind of release some of that or get into that place where they can just play, like you said like I can't tell you how much I ache to just play, but I'll tell you that you know Well it's great.

Tony Martignelli:

I love that. I mean, I think it's so true, we need to play more as adults because we lose that inhibition of play. And so I mean, in terms of like tools and ways of doing it, it's more through just giving people permission. You know, sometimes meditation is a good way to do that. It's just, you know, giving people that space to say, hey, let's just close our eyes and see what happens if we just let go of the world as it is and imagine what it would look like if you didn't have that critic that you have out there, like the art critic. Let's fire him and let them go, and now we can go and do our own thing and create our own little thing in the world. And so I know it seems maybe not gonna, it doesn't fit everyone, so not everyone in need is going to be up for that, but for some it's exactly. What they need is that sense of like permission to say let's just play, it's not gonna show up in any reports or be on your boss's desk tomorrow, it is just for you to be able to explore. So I think that's the starting point right.

Tony Martignelli:

For people who are a little more analytical or a little bit rigid. Then I might say what are you tolerating that you shouldn't be tolerating? Yeah, and it's a different angle. But the reason why is because oftentimes we tolerate a lot in our life. That is stuff that we put up with because we feel like we have to be tense, structured, and so I let them kind of let go of some of that structure by saying, like what if you just let go of what you're tolerating and just allow yourself to be in control?

Nicole Donnelly:

Interesting. What's an example of something someone might tolerate? Let's say that they don't, that that wouldn't be something that they would need to let go of.

Tony Martignelli:

Yeah, I mean, a classic example would be somebody who has, like a boss who tells them where to be and when and instead said, like you know, I'm gonna be more in control of my calendar and I'm gonna push back and say, hey look, I have to have certain times where I'm gonna work on my creative work creative meaning like work, work Maybe it's on long-term projects because you're not making progress on the things that are important because you're constantly being interrupted by your boss or you're constantly in drag in the meetings. So it's like pushing back and saying like, no, I need, if I'm gonna be effective as a leader, as a person who's gonna do strategic work, then I need to have space to do so and I have to own that. And so tolerating everyone interrupting you, including your boss, is not a good way to allow that to happen.

Nicole Donnelly:

So I love that. It's like setting learning to set better boundaries.

Introduction:

Absolutely.

Nicole Donnelly:

And I think when you do that with your, it commands some level of respect on their part, right that you respect yourself enough, and then they will enter in respect that you have set up that boundary. That's so interesting.

Tony Martignelli:

Yeah, and I'll just share a little story.

Tony Martignelli:

I remember learning this a long time ago from someone who worked for me, who was a young kid, who he's like well, I do these things every day.

Tony Martignelli:

I go to play basketball with my friends and we've been doing this since the beginning of time, like the beginning of like a long time ago basically, and I'm like, okay, but what about the reports and what about this, what about this? And so I was pushing back and I was thinking myself like no, he understands his priorities and I think it's really admirable of him to actually say this is my boundary and I'm not allowing you to push it. And he did amazing work, which was really cool. So it'd be one thing if you're saying like no and not really like giving any kind of leeway, but when I heard him say that, I was like, hmm, interesting. You know, there are things in our lives we have to say, no, I'm gonna get the job done, I'm gonna do what I need to do, but I also have to tell you that I'm gonna honor and respect other parts of my life and own that.

Nicole Donnelly:

Love that. I remember I had a job when my kids were young and when I took the job I told them up front. I said you know, I would really love this job, but I don't wanna work on these during these times because I have little ones at home. Would you be willing to let me, you know, work around that? And they did and it was really wonderful. I respected them that they respected me in that way, and it was great for my family because I had those hours that I wanted and needed with my kids and I was still able to do the job. And I think what was really cool is that that example showed the rest of the company and the rest of the people on the team. I think that the leaders valued that work-life balance and they valued the boundaries that the employees were asking for. So I was really like impressed by the leadership, that they were willing to be flexible in that way, and I think that's something, as leaders, that's really important when you do that.

Tony Martignelli:

Alan, don't be afraid to be an example for your own leaders. We often say, lead by example, but that doesn't mean that the examples have to be from the people ahead of us. It could be from the people who they could be, from you, and you could be setting an example for the CEO of your company by being who you are.

Nicole Donnelly:

So inspiring for people to hear. I think you don't need a title to be a leader. Yes, yeah, well, so cool. Well, I remember in the episode that we had the St Patrick's Day episode, you shared something that has just always stuck with me about tradition and I wanted to talk a little bit about that, and that is how do you balance tradition with change?

Nicole Donnelly:

You know, the rate of change is happening so quickly now within organizations, and it's only especially with AI and all of these advances it's only going to increase more rapidly. So having a culture and an organization that embraces change is so critical. But embracing change like saying you embrace change and actually embracing change is really hard, because research actually shows there's this bias where anytime someone's presented with something new, the immediate reaction is negative. Right, like it's actually a proven scientific thing that you know people are biased in that way to react negatively to change, and one of the things you said in that episode that I loved is, whenever you're going through change, it's really important to maintain that thread of tradition through any sort of change project or management project, which I think was so inspiring. How do you recommend people go about identifying what is the tradition that's worth keeping?

Nicole Donnelly:

You know, because obviously you don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater, but you don't want to. You know, you know. So how can people identify the tradition that's worth keeping and keep that through the transformation? That's my first question for you.

Tony Martignelli:

I love it and it really is. When you're asking it now, it has to be thinking about it, maybe not differently, but in a different language, because with my most recent book, I've been thinking about how connection is the core of everything that I do, and it's connecting with our stories, connecting with ourselves and then ultimately connecting with others. And so when I think about how people do this in their organizations, it starts with really having a connection to our past as a company, as an organization, and saying to yourself how do we ensure we know what it is that we're about? What are we getting to this business? For? What did we start this business? You know, initially, what was the purpose of our business and how do we? What are we gonna maintain as we move forward While also navigating a change situation, because people need something to hang on to and so they need to connect with the core of what it is that you are as an identity.

Tony Martignelli:

So it's kind of like my identity.

Tony Martignelli:

I connect with the idea of being an artist and that has something that I hid for a long time because I felt like it wasn't acceptable in the world that I was in, and now I realize that we can own an identity and we should own our identity as long as we want to, even if we no longer do the thing that we wanna that we're doing, it becomes part of us, it's ingrained in us.

Tony Martignelli:

But we have to make sure we understand what it is that we wanna own and stick with that and say so. If we're a company that says we are all about serving cancer patients, we wanna make sure that every cancer patient lives a more fulfilling life, that we add days to their lives and make it a quality life, and we may change what area of cancer development, of oncology we go into, but ultimately what stays the same is that we're gonna add days to their lives. The challenge that might happen is maybe navigating change might look like, hey, we're having to lay off some people because we've had to cancel a trial or this trial didn't work out, and that's change that people sometimes will be like this is not good and where are we going Now we're letting these really important people who have been part of our journey go and ultimately it's about saying, hey, we're doing what we can to make sure we're navigating to that one thing that's so important to us connecting to what started us at the beginning, adding days to patients' lives.

Nicole Donnelly:

That's such great advice that people can apply to their organization then individually, like really asking yourself to connect with maybe the little girl or the little boy and what was it that really inspired you as a child? And going back and really understanding those things that really lit you up and how can you identify that and then stay true to that with wherever you're going with your career. But in organizations, too, like this is something that with one of the accounts I was working with. They decided to invest in a huge e-commerce project and it wasn't going well. It was not going well at all, and so we had to take a step back and do an actual customer needs assessment and ask the customers hey, what do you value about working with this company? What are the things that you love about it? What is the experience you wanna have? What do you expect when you work with us?

Nicole Donnelly:

And we had these really wonderful conversations with them, one-on-one, to really understand that. And then we also talked to the employees to say what do you love about working here? What is it that you value that you bring to customers? And it was so enlightening through that experience.

Nicole Donnelly:

I was very humbled by it because I realized that the reason why it didn't work and why we were going about all wrong is I wasn't listening to what it is that people valued and really holding onto that, and that was that they really valued the personal, hands-on customer service they were getting from their sales rep, right, like that was what the company had been built on. So if we were gonna invest in e-commerce, we had to position this not as a threat or a competition to the sales rep, but like how can we support them through the process? And so it was just like a really eye-opening experience for me about everything you're just saying about how important it is to really go back to what the company was built on, or what you feel like your identity's built on, and whatever change you're gonna make to your point. If you stay true to that, then you're gonna be much more successful to get people on board and be excited about the change because they're invested in it. They're a part of it.

Tony Martignelli:

Yeah, the how can change, it's the why and the core. That still is the same in essence, until it isn't, and then at that point you maybe have to make some more systemic changes that let's look at Blockbuster, for example that didn't really. They had to go out of business because they had no way to continue to stay in operations.

Nicole Donnelly:

Yeah, so Well, you mentioned your book. I'd love to talk a little bit more about that. You recently published Campfire Lessons for Leaders and it was built based on your podcast, I believe, which all about like kind of you mentioned earlier on the show integrating your past experiences into the present so you can navigate through. What was your goal in writing this latest book, like what inspired this, and what are you hoping people will walk away once they read it? What are you hoping they'll walk away with?

Tony Martignelli:

Well, I'll start with a goal and I'll say that, like the goal initially was man, I had so many amazing conversations with people who just filled me up with so much joy, insights, so much you know inspiration, and I wanted to champion them and share their stories with the world.

Tony Martignelli:

And I know that there's, you know, the podcast is out there but I wanted to do it in a way that was really going to to package it in the right way that really highlighted the, the themes that showed up for me, and so I started to think about this book as a container for sharing these big lessons for people to to transform their lives by looking at their own journey of transformation, but having some people who ride along with them, these stories and examples from people who have been through their own journey of transformation and I've had experiences that are probably not that different than what we go through on a day to day basis and allowing them to be great examples of how to navigate challenging situations and flexion points, or what I call them flash points, and realizing that we're all going through these on a day to day basis and sometimes we just need someone else to to say, yeah, I get you, I understand that journey and if you are willing to take these steps, you can do the same thing for yourself.

Tony Martignelli:

You can make sense and meaning out of your story and you can use that as a lever to propel you in the right direction.

Nicole Donnelly:

And I think that's a great sense of like connection and community and that, like you have, like a community that you're building like around this book. That would be so cool.

Tony Martignelli:

It's funny you mentioned that. So the in terms of community wise, it's not exactly like you know, I'm bringing a bunch of people who are going to be sitting in room together, but I am doing a workshop that I'm bringing into organizations called Campfires of connection, which is basically a workshop that allows others to come together, create connection by getting to share their stories in a campfire setting, using some of the frameworks and understandings of the book. So so it is something that has been the jump off point from the book and it's funny how you write a book and it doesn't necessarily just end when the book is done. It's just the start of really understanding what you've done. You know, and that's where this came from this, this realization that wow, like this is how the work extends from the book, is by bringing this into the workplaces and helping people to see how their own stories and their collective stories can be an impact.

Tony Martignelli:

In fact, that's how I end the book is this idea that when I originally wanted to create the podcast which I had no experience with podcasting at all I had envisioned creating what's called divergent minds divergent minds, convergent hearts, which is a space for different thinkers to come together and then get to know each other and leave feeling connected at the heart, and so now I think the time is for in different branding. Campfires of connection is basically that, but it's it's basically creating our own little campfires of connection to allow others to come together, share stories, share ideas and help each other feel connected more, which we need more of in the world.

Nicole Donnelly:

And so that's what we do, especially with more and more people remotely working. You know, organizations don't have that like physical place where they can. I mean, there's something about physically being in the room with someone that you care about. That, just yeah, there's. It's the sensory experience. I don't know how else to explain it or describe it, but there is a connection that comes when you can see and feel and hear and smell someone that you care about or that you're working with. That is just there's no words for it. And there you know if there's nothing that can replace that.

Nicole Donnelly:

So, and as we have become more separate in that way, like we are craving that more than ever, I gotta tell you. I mean, like I was so thrilled to go to conferences and actually be in person with people last, last year and just to be, and it just cements that connection you have with each other in our relationship. So I think it's so beautiful that you're going to bring that into the workplace, because you're absolutely right, we need that as humans and as organizations to help us be able to do better work and to live more creatively and work more creatively. So that's super cool.

Tony Martignelli:

And I love that you mentioned that the. You know the sense of like being in person with people and it's so much more than just the talking, it's a, it's the you know physicality of it all and you know being able to hug somebody who've been interacting with online for maybe five or six years and never met in person. You're like oh my gosh, you're a real person.

Nicole Donnelly:

Exactly so true.

Tony Martignelli:

Oh.

Nicole Donnelly:

I love all of that. You mentioned that there's a framework that you've noticed for people that are kind of going through these flash points and trying to like integrate with house with their kind of like current and future. Can you give us a little sneak peek or maybe like a little teaser about like this frameworks that people might want to be like ooh, that you know what's like a little nugget we can hold on to that will will help us understand a little bit more about this.

Tony Martignelli:

I mean, I'll give you a little bit of a taste, because it's a there's a lot to it and it's kind of a simple framework. But I mean, the starting point is to have the lens to look at things. You know you want to start by entering your the view of how you're looking at your stories. As you know, there's a 3C framework, which is curiosity, compassion and connection. And so curiosity about getting curious, about what it is that has made you the person you are today and what are some of the things that you've overlooked, what are the things that you may want to have another look at along your journey.

Tony Martignelli:

Compassion, don't judge yourself. Like you know, we talked about imperfection and our journeys through life are nothing short of imperfection. They could be defined as imperfection, because that's what makes us human. So, by by way of that, be compassionate about your, about your own journey, the flaws, the flaws that you've stumbled, those stumbling blocks have helped you to learn. And when we take leaps into new things, we learn, we leap to learn, and that is part of, you know, becoming who we are. And then the third C connection is, you know, it's not just about connecting with others, but it's also make the connection between what you're seeing and what you are experiencing. So how are you seeing a connection between what you've, you know discovered and what you're, you know, experiencing? So maybe there's something you might notice about how you're showing up today. That you've now seen is part of what you had experienced as a child.

Tony Martignelli:

What I've seen through a lot of the stories that I've discovered, through the people in my podcast and beyond, is that a lot of the little things have been seen in us as children. You know well one of my, one of my guests, you know, jeffrey Shaw, who you might know, jeff, he's been a. He's been self employed since day one. He's used to sell eggs on Sundays and Saturdays as a child, and then he, you know, eventually now he's self employed. He's never been employed by anybody, so so it's really remarkable, and in his stories in the book it's really, it's really fascinating. But I think it's interesting when you think about how, like the things that you did when you were younger, they stick with you throughout life.

Nicole Donnelly:

That's so true. I mean, I gotta tell you I love oysters. I am obsessed with raw oysters on the half shelf, okay, and not a lot of people are, I got to tell you. I have very few family or friends that will enjoy the immense pleasure that it is to have a raw oyster from Prince Edward Island or like the Northwest.

Nicole Donnelly:

And when I, when I ever I, eat an oyster, I try to explain this to people. So, like it's just this big slimy piece of snot, like how can you enjoy this oyster? And I have to tell you like it is. Every time. I grew up in Southern California, so I would go to the all the time and I tell you, every time I eat an oyster it takes me back to my childhood and I feel like I'm at the beach, playing in the water, just like, oh my gosh, I'm getting emotional, like just being free, you know. So, like, every time I eat that oyster it takes me there and it's like a very like emotional experience for me, you know. And it's even more cool when I get to experience it with other people who are like, like, really into, like it's a social thing.

Nicole Donnelly:

So I totally love and identify with the fact that we do have these childhood experiences that really, like they stick with, I mean clearly stick with us and they inspires. But are you an oyster person, are we? Yeah?

Tony Martignelli:

yeah, absolutely, I'm in the Northeast, so of course we have. We have the best oyster together.

Nicole Donnelly:

Someday. We're gonna meet in person. I'm gonna give you a big hug and I'm gonna enjoy that like being in person with you, and we're gonna sit down and have raw oysters on the half shell and it's gonna be amazing.

Tony Martignelli:

Bring it on.

Nicole Donnelly:

That'd be amazing. Oh my gosh, so I can't. I just can't wait for the people listening to be able to read this book that you've written. It's you know, it's something that I know that has been a passion project of yours for many years, with all the guests that you've had on your show, and I bet it's like so rewarding for you to be able to see it come to life and to be able to celebrate their stories, and what an inspiration that will be for so many people. I'm just really excited for you.

Tony Martignelli:

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.

Nicole Donnelly:

Man, this has been so much fun. I didn't know I was gonna start crying. I shouldn't know that though, it's Tony, because you just bring that out like you. Just you have. I would say, like you have this ability to just really explain this, tony, you, there's safety with you. Like people feel like they can be safe and be who they, are and just really let down, and that's a beautiful gift. So. I thank you for you know, bringing that always to every conversation that we have. It's really wonderful so.

Tony Martignelli:

I'm gonna have to make that into the. I put the Barbara Walters, an element of Barbara Walters, inside of me. You know, people cry, you know, in a good way.

Nicole Donnelly:

Who knew? I honestly had no idea I was gonna be crying talking about oysters today, but you brought it out.

Nicole Donnelly:

That was really cool. So I know we only have a few minutes left, but I would love to talk just a little bit. You talked a little bit about how I'd love to end the show and just talk about the fact that we all make mistakes, and that's one of the core themes of the podcast is, we all have our tales of misadventure as entrepreneurs, as business leaders. There's always going to be those times. We're going to fall down and make mistakes, sometimes big and sometimes small, and it hurts, it does not feel good. Can you really painful? Do you have any like specific examples of maybe miss a misadventure in your own entrepreneurial journey? Or do maybe not even as an entrepreneur, but just in your journey? That was a really difficult mistake that you kind of had to overcome and get past. What got you through and what was that experience like for you?

Tony Martignelli:

Yeah, I'm going to share one, that is, it has a lot to do with holding a grudge with somebody who I worked with. And so I worked with somebody who was super talented, she was so great and for some reason, the two of us just didn't see eye to eye and it went on for so long and it felt like we constantly were at odds and you know, it was challenging. It created a very challenging situation because we reported to the same person and it felt like we were always trying to one up each other and and and yeah, it created a toxic environment and it was tough for me because I didn't want that to be the case, but it just became that. And when I realized is that eventually we, we started to have a conversation about it and said, hey look, we've got to overcome this, We've got to overcome this challenging situation. And I thought it was just a one way thing. I thought it was just me, you know, feeling like you know there's something wrong with the way that I was being portrayed by her or there's something, but it was both ways. We felt kind of like triggered by each other.

Tony Martignelli:

But what I realized through this whole situation is that once we had a conversation and started to really understand that we're both good people, we both want the right things and if we just talk more, we could actually overcome that. And it has me thinking about a lot of the things we do today where, oftentimes, like we make up stories in our heads about people we see online. We see people who are like you know, knocking out of the park or they're you know. You feel like, oh, I really hate that person for being so great, you know. But the reality is, have you ever talked to them and asked them about, like, what's their journey, who are they and what are they all about? Hey, maybe it's. Maybe they're the next person you're going to collaborate with. So I share this story because I feel like it has this at the center of it all. It's like stop getting in your own way and start having conversations, the most difficult conversations you can have, because it could be the one that opens the door to the most beautiful relationship you could have.

Nicole Donnelly:

Oh, that is so beautiful. I think we can all relate to that, that experience of having difficult relationships in the workplace.

Nicole Donnelly:

We all, because we all have we all come with different work styles and the way that we see the world and different perspectives, and they're and that's a beautiful thing. It's beautiful, for example, that like, for example, me, I tend to be very macro. Okay, I want to be up here in the sky thinking about the vision and the big picture, and if you ask me to get down into the weeds, I'm not going to be happy and I'm not going to do it. Very well, you know. But then there are other people that just like to live down there, right, and so if you're working people like that, it's like it's and you have that difference, it's hard. Sometimes there can be a tendency to butt heads in all of those different ways. So I think that's such a beautiful example of just like having more conversations rather than just letting it be that way. I guess I don't know, yeah, yeah.

Tony Martignelli:

letting it fester, or letting it just be, continue to be a thing that controls you as opposed to releases you which I think is an important way to think about it is that the only person who's suffering is you.

Nicole Donnelly:

And who's suffering is you. That is such a great lesson in forgiveness, right? I mean there's. There's a beautiful quote I'm going to botch it about how you know, forgiveness is not really for the other person, it's for you, for you to feel like a piece and everything. So what a beautiful example. Thanks for sharing it, tony. This is such a wonderful, oh my gosh, can we come into a park to believe, come into a park, to that be so far Absolutely Any day you in person with oysters.

Tony Martignelli:

Yes, that's happening. I'll bring the oysters.

Nicole Donnelly:

Yeah, that's so cool, but yeah, this has been such a delight. I just want to thank you for coming on the show and is there anything that you'd like to share with our guests. I'm something new that's up and coming for you when you workshops or anything that you love to talk about the three.

Tony Martignelli:

Um, nothing much. My dogs are excited about something I don't know, but I will say the one thing I will share is just my website and place to if you can find me is is I purpose partnerscom. I try to shorten the web URL a little bit, so I think go check out there. You can find out more about the books, the podcast and everything, and they're cheering for you.

Nicole Donnelly:

Yeah, they're excited to that. Sounds wonderful, but yeah that's that's.

Tony Martignelli:

That's what I'll leave. It is that you know. Come check me out and um, yeah, happy to have a chat.

Nicole Donnelly:

Everyone out there. If you get a chance to read Tony's latest book and listen into his podcast, I hope this has just given you a really awesome sneak peek on what an incredible leader Tony is and all the great work that he's doing just helping people live authentically and intentionally and with purpose and be able to create and identify their own internal masterpiece. So thank you so much for joining us today for another episode of tales of misadventure, where we talked to amazing entrepreneurs like Tony and help them learn, help them share their stories about they turned lemons into lemonade, and so we look forward to seeing you on another episode of the show.

Introduction:

Tales of Misadventure is produced, edited and moderated by Julie Bacello with Bacello Media, music by Marcus Way. Special thanks to our amazing guests and the entire DMG digital team. Visit us at dmgdigitalio to get access to all our podcast interviews and other helpful resources, and if you'd like to get updates on the latest and greatest, please sign up for our email newsletter. We'll see you next time for another episode of Tales of Misadventure. Until then, keep falling forward.

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